"May I take your order?" the waiter
asked.
"Yes. I'm just wondering, how do you prepare your
chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he replied.
"We just tell them straight out that they're going to
die."
-
A guy walked into a bar and saw a sign that
said, "Cheese sandwich, £4; chicken sandwich, £5;
handjob, £20." He said to the barmaid, "Are you the
one who gives the handjobs?" She said, "Yeah." He
said, "Then go wash your hands. I want a cheese
sandwich."
An Essex girl is crossing the road, when she gets
hit by an XR3i. As she is lying on the ground, the driver,
Dave, rushes out of the car to see if she is alright.
"I'm so sorry luv! I just didn't see ya. Are ya OK?" he
blurts out.
"Everyphink is justa blur, I can't see a phing" she says,
tearfully.
Concerned, the man leans over the woman to test her eyesight.
He asks, "How many fingers have I got up?"
Oh my God NAAA!" she screams. "Don't tell me I'm
paralysed from the waist down an all!!!"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his
attractive blond female neighbour came out of the house and went
straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box
and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into
the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again,
marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder
than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is
something wrong?"
To which she replied "There certainly is!"
(are you ready?) ... this is a beauty ....
My stupid computer keeps saying "YOU'VE GOT MAIL"
