] Pix.Buggable.com [ Some funny pix!

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd
found a cat. She asked him if it
was dead or alive. "Dead", she was
informed. "How do you know?" she asked
her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and
it didn't move," answered the
child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?" the
teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You
know," explained the boy, "I leaned over
and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
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A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later...."Da-ad...." "What? "I'm thirsty.

Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had
your chance. Lights out." Five minutes
later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm
THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I
told you NO!" If you ask again,
I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes
later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come
in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into
mischief, finally she asked him, "How do you expect to get into
Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in
and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked
with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The
mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I
have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his
shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
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It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little
girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the
pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter
Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on
microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
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When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
shower.  She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey,
remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but

what's growing in your butt?"
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A little boy was doing his math homework.  He said to himself,
Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a
bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What
are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework,
Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes,"
he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are
you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we
are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to
say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing,
she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to
warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to
the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think
that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:
"Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach
for the next 10 minutes.